Therapy for Self-esteem
Below is an activity I do with most of my clients at some point to help them address depression, self-esteem, loneliness, and body image issues. Each list is a tool that can be used on its own or together with the other lists. Writing out these things can help you remember that there are good things in your life, there are people who care about you, you are doing something right, and you do have gifts and admirable qualities.
If you are struggling to complete any of these lists, please give me a call and let’s talk about it more 713-259-2550.
Directions: 10 is not a random number, most people can rattle off about 5 things pretty quickly on each list. The point is to get you to think about 10 things you might be taking for granted, minimizing, or simply not acknowledging as something positive in yourself or your life. You will ALWAYS find exactly what you are looking for! Try looking for the positive and you will find it! Do not give up…really sit and think and come up with 10 things. Even if you don’t really mean it, write it down anyway. You might be surprised that you believe it more and more as time goes on.
List 10 things you are grateful for: Keep it simple. List everyday things like electricity, water, food, your comfy bed, etc. if you are having a hard time thinking of things. If you want to challenge yourself, think of abstract things like your capacity to learn, your willingness to change and grow, continued effort to communicate better with your family, being a good friend, having good friends, etc.
List 10 Beings Who Care About You: Pets, extended family, friends, teachers, counselors, and deceased beings count!
List 10 Things You Are Doing Well: These are not things you are doing perfectly! These are things, even small daily things like brushing your teeth, drinking some water, eating something fresh, taking care of your pet, attending school, etc. that you are doing. Give yourself credit because you are doing more than you think!
List 10 things About Your Personality You Like: If you get stuck, write character traits that you want to have or want to be more consistent with! Examples include: kind, funny, generous, good friend, good music taste, unique style, enjoy art, good pet owner, like to learn, smart, honest, respectful, good listener, reliable, organized, fun, helpful, athletic, artistic, creative, thoughtful, articulate, easy going, polite, sensitive, considerate, hard-working, loyal, accepting, leader, friendly, tolerant, patient, etc. You do not have to be perfect or do these things 100% of the time in order for these traits to apply to you in general.
List 10 Things You Like About Yourself Physically: This one seems to be the hardest for most people, get creative! Think about compliments you’ve been given in your life and don’t minimize them if it’s from your friends or family! They wouldn’t say it if they didn’t mean it! Examples include: Eyelashes, piercings, sense of style, hair color, hair texture, hair cut, nails, eye color, teeth, lips, smile, ear lobes, feet, cheek bones, skin tone, back, shoulders, butt, facial hair, tattoos, freckles, etc.
After you complete the lists, hang this paper up in your bathroom mirror for the next 30 days and every time you are brushing your teeth or getting ready in the morning, read the list. If you really want to challenge yourself, read it out loud. Hear yourself saying the words. Add new things each time if you want to as well! You will find that you start believing these things more and more about yourself as the month goes on.
Participating in this activity will help reduce depressive symptoms, alleviate loneliness, build confidence and self-esteem, and help you learn to love yourself because you are a loveable person!
